Meditation

Over the last couple of days I have had it reaffirmed to me just how soothing and useful meditation is to me and that I really DO notice it only when I'm not doing it.

I have to really start being more aware of staying on the path and trying to live the Dharma each day. I can do that AND have my beliefs in the Gods. After all, I did it before and was quite centred and content. But like the Buddha and other Dharma teachers have said, it's no good waiting till things are bad to practise the Dharma, one must continue to practise it during the good times in order to cope with the bad.

I should write that out as a mantra and stick it on my mirror and above my PC at work.

It's An Ancestral Thang

I'm strangely drawn to all things Celtic *shrugs* It kind of makes sense. I was involved with an Asatru group till they stopped doing gatherings and their annual Winter Feast, which is a shame because they were so down to earth and not the usual bullshit filled fluff bunnies in the pagan scene.

I have ALWAYS had ravens around me. That is the one constant in my life, hence my name LOL And my partner has even bought me a raven ring (which I treasure) and a raven pentacle. I also have a raven charm I wore before the pentacle. I quite often see two ravens together and it makes me think of Odin with Hugin and Munnin. And I am reminded of what my partner said to me one day out of despair and disgust "What about your Norse/Celtic heritage? You're more that than you are Jewish. Why are you ashamed of that?" (That was in my intense Jewish pride phase). And eve though I have NEVER been ashamed of any part of me, he was right. Yes I am Jewish on my mother's side and admittedly went through a rather pitiful Jewish pride phase. I have never been raised Jewish and don't really do anything except cook kosher, so I can in hindsight understand my partner's exasperation. And with the rest of my heritage being Norwegian and Scottish (my Mum's background is Norwegian/Jewish and Scottish and my father's is Scottish/English with some Irish thrown in for good measure), I'm really about 5/6 Celtic and 1/6 Jewish.

My mother has always had Celtic jewellery and had a strong love and appreciation for her Celtic heritage as well. We both have pendants of our Scottish clan and our clan name is part of our legal names. So I guess feeling drawn to the Celtic path is natural in a way. Subconsciously I have always associated the Celtic path with new age Wicca and/or Faery Wicca and I've always thought those lot to be a bit fucked in the head and thus avoided them with a ten foot pole. But I am very fond of Odin and I figure The Morrigan might be interesting to read about. They remind me of The Norns in Asatru.

At the heart of my day to day practise is Buddhism. What I love about it is that it is a practise, not a faith, and that I can explore how I see "God" without betraying my Buddhist practise. In fact, the Dalai Lama himself has said that anyone can be a Buddhist and keep their ancestral religion. Then again, is a label even necessary?

And so the path takes another turn...

Revelation

I have been re-reading "Living Buddha, Living Christ" by Thich Nhat Hanh and while reading it one night last week I had an "'Aha!"moment. Christianity is really a theistic Buddhist path. Aside from the claims that Jesus had visited India (which I cannot totally deny because there just simply isn't anything to say he DIDN'T. There is nothing recorded about Jesus between the ages of 12 and 30), so many of his teachings echo the Buddha, some almost word for word. The only difference really being that Jesus' teachings revolve around Yahweh, whereas Buddha did not teach about a Creator and most Buddhist teachings deny the existence of any god.

To me this just confirms my longstanding personal theory that most, if not all, religions are the same at the heart of their teachings. The example of three blind men describing what an elephant looks like comes to mind. They're all different descriptions, but they're all correct.

Getting Sorted

Sort of.

I'v ebeen really throwing myself back into meditation and The Dharma. And there is no way I can deny it, Buddhism is indeed my daily spiritual path. I have never felt calmer, more serene or happier following it. The only twist is that I am a theist, a polytheist to be exact. I honour Aset, Hekate and to a lesser degree, Odin. So there's really no straightforward label for me, but you know, that's ok too.

I'm me, and that's good enough.

2009

Well today is January 1, 2009 and I am looking forward to starting a new slate with my life both personally and spiritually. I think in regards to my last post, that I HAVE read too many things and filled my mind with conflicting views.

So I have been reading fiction to counteract it. I have not read any fiction for at LEAST 12 - 24 months. I'm reading the Brisingr series and it's been a great way for me to just unwind and stop thinking about spirituality 24/7. I've also decided that it's ok to not know my path for a while and to let it take a back seat to the rest of my life. I know what I DO believe so the rest will fall into place when the time is right. Although having said that, one of my coworkers is fixing my Hekate pendant so I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Happy New Year

Confuzzled

Ok so I'm at a point in my life where I wonder just what the fuck it is that I believe? I mean, I KNOW I believe in God/dess who can manifest in any form They so desire, but as for a path? I think not. I follow Buddhism as a daily spiritual practice because it doesn't have teachings about Deity (well actually most paths teach anatta or no soul - which I have issues with). It's interesting because for about 15 years I have been devoted to Aset and to a lesser degree, NebtHet - both as a Wiccan and Kemetic Orthodox, yet neither of those paths ring true to me anymore. I am also oathed to Odin but am not Asatruar. I also _LOVE_Hekate, yet am not Hellenic. Is it possible to know TOO MUCH about spiritual paths and confuse yourself?

If so, it sucks *sighs*

So...

I often wonder why the need to label myself (or others). I mean, does it really matter? I often say not, as do others. Yet how do we answer "Who are you?" I never just say "I'm Raven" I either add "I'm a mother/it geek/etc."

It's been a real pain but a learning curve too. I'm still defining myself spiritually and probably will be for the rest of my life, but at least I'm not hung up on trying to fit a mould. It has to fit me or break, not the other way round.

I would probably be much more profound or interesting to read tonight but my mind's preoccupied with other things. As such, I'll sign off and ponder some more later.